So I’m 20 this year and it kinda got me thinking the other day about everything I’ve been through so far and the person it’s made me into, whether I want to be that person or not. So I thought I’d share what lessons I’ve learned so far from my experiences
1) People Can Be Cruel
You will come across so many people in your life and hopefully the majority of them will be amazing and have a fantastic impact on your life, but unfortunately some of these people will hurt you, and some of them will do in intentionally. Maybe you have something they wish they did or they just don’t know how to handle something they’re going through and take it out on you, and a lot of people are reluctant to say this but from my experience it’s true, maybe they’re just generally not nice people and that’s okay too because it helps you to know that you have done nothing wrong. I have had so many people be so cruel to me, and a lot of them were people I considered good friends, some as recently as two months ago but you kinda just have to teach yourself that these people will come and go, and eventually others will see how poisonous they are.
The most important thing you can do is to not let them change who you are because at the end of the day you have to like you who are, so don’t let anyone change how you view the world or yourself.
2)Your Parents Can Be Wrong
A thing I’ve had said to me a lot is that you only have one mam/dad so you always have to be on good speaking terms with them, and I’m calling bullshit on this. If you’re mam or dad is acting like a horrible person and generally not treating you right then you have every single reason to either call them out on it or choose not to speak to them. I have had so many horrible experiences with my mam and it really effected me the last year and nearly cost me my relationship because I let it change who I was and people saying that to me really hurt and even if they were trying to help, a lot of the time it just made me feel worse. But I’ve learned that it is completely acceptable not to put up with crap you don’t deserve from people because everyone deserves to be treated with respect if they are a good person. So stand up for yourself, even if it’s against the people you shouldn’t have to.
3) It Costs Nothing To Be Nice
Being generally nice to people it such an easy thing to do yet it’s overlooked a lot. Even walking past people and smiling at them, such a simple thing yet you’d swear it’d nearly kill some people. Maybe it’s just me but I believe if you’re just a generally nice and polite person it will come back to you in a fantastic way, and how you treat strangers says a lot about the person you are and everyone wants to be the best person they can be, so give it a try.
4) It’s Okay To Be Wary
Like I’ve said briefly before, I’ve been hurt a lot by people I’ve trusted and I’ve often let it change who I am, but that’s because I’ve let it, something I’m determined not to do anymore. But if you’re like me and you’ve had similar experiences it is 100% okay to be wary about trusting people, as long as you don’t let it effect you too much and become super paranoid and suspicious (a thing I am guilty of doing a lot.) It’s important to protect your happiness and yourself.
5) There’s A Difference Between Being Nice And Being A Pushover
I used to be the biggest pushover. You wanna treat me like crap but still have me do every favour you ask for? Sure, no problem! But ever since I started going out with my boyfriend he’s taught me that I am worth so much more than that. I deserve respect and to be treated the same way I treat others. So if anyone reading this does the same thing I used to, focus on yourself and tell those people where to go! Even if they’re your friends, you don’t have to be rude if you’re in a group setting and one or two people are treating you badly, just quietly stand up for yourself. Being good to yourself is so damn important and I am so glad I had my boyfriend to make me realise this. So no, you don’t have to run around after everyone, doing favours is great but only if that person treats you with the respect you deserve.